I just got off the phone with Dr. C, the developmental pediatrician who has been helping us with Clara's eating issues. When I weighed Clara on Tuesday she was only 12 pounds, 12 ounces - a five ounce gain in 20 days (25% of what we would have liked to have seen). She's been taking 1-2 bottles a day with rice cereal in them for extra calories. Unfortunately, the rice cereal bottles fill her up so much that then she won't eat again for about five hours. So even though we're getting more calories in that feeding, she's dropped a couple of feedings in exchange. Not so good.
Our new game plan is stop the rice cereal and instead give her bottles of breast milk fortified with formula so they're still 27 calories per ounce (regular breast milk is 20cal/oz), but hopefully will move through her system quickly so that she'll be willing to pick up a few more feedings a day. We're also going to add a third bottle daily with this concoction, which means I will have to really pick up pumping again too. *Sigh*... I thought those days were behind me.
I think what has me the most scared and worried is that the first thing Dr. C said when she called was, "I really didn't want to put a G-Tube in this baby." ME NEITHER!!!!! I know it's not the end of the world and that we've been through worse already, but I really thought that we had turned a corner on the possibility of a g-tube. It's another hospital admission, re-intubation, another surgery, a semi-permanent port in her belly..... I desperately don't want any of that.
We've got two weeks on this new game plan. I'm preparing myself to hunker down again and focus on feeding as much as possible. It's frustrating because when Clara wants to eat, she eats great. But if she's not interested, you cannot make a baby decide to suck and swallow. We'll do another weight check in two weeks and re-evaluate at that point.
We ask humbly, once again, for your prayers.
- Please pray that Clara will tolerate the formula additive to her bottle (she didn't in the hospital) and have no trouble taking it and keeping it down.
- Pray that she will increase her feeds throughout the day and take in more ounces overall.
- Pray that she will gain a lot these next two weeks - a pound would be amazing. Shoot, half a pound would be okay, probably. But we need more than a quarter ounce a day for sure...
- Pray that I can pump enough to keep my milk supply going (who would ever have thought that would have been an issue after all the oversupply problems I had initially?)
- Pray that we will have the wisdom to know how to continue advocating for Clara. I really don't think she needs a g-tube and I'm pretty ready to fight for that right now. But I want to be careful about not sticking my head in the sand and doing whatever Clara really does need. Even if it's a g-tube.
-Pray for peace for us. Since Clara has been home from the hospital I have had some weeks of intense worry and fear and anxiety about her weight gain. I have had other weeks where I was totally relaxed and hopeful and calm and peaceful. I know that Clara and I both do better when it's the latter, but I feel myself tightening again into worry and fear.
We remain so grateful for this community (physical and online) who have prayed and are praying so faithfully for our sweet girl. Thanks for continuing to pray us over every last hurdle.
|If love was all it took to make her grow, she'd be gaining a pound a day.