January 12, 2015

Dear Daughters

Dear Daughters,

This morning as we drove Clara to school, I heard from the backseat, "Mommy?  You probably don't have any idea how much I love Eloise.  I love her so much you can't even believe it."  I replied to you by simply saying, "I know, Clara."    What I wanted to explain to you was how thankful I am that you truly adore her.  I wanted to somehow dislodge my heart from my throat in order to find the words to thank you for treasuring her instead of resenting her.  I wanted to freeze time, to record your sweet little voice saying those most sincere words and believing them with every bit of your soul.  At the same moment, I wanted to fast forward, just for a moment, to see what your relationship with each other will be like a few years down the road.   Would I think to myself, "I wish I could play back those words so that Eloise can know how  much her sister loved her"?  Or will there be no need because maybe, just maybe, your love, respect and affection for each other will only continue to deepen and grow.

Having never had a sister, this sisterly bond is new to me, but I'm watching it unfold, already, and I'm amazed.  This afternoon I watched Eloise look at Clara with a glimmer in her eye that said "you're the most incredible person in my world."  I watched Clara abandon her three year old toys in order to shake a rattle for Eloise and demonstrate how to manipulate the baby blocks.  I watched you both laugh at each other and gaze at each other and.... love each other.  You just love each other so much and it makes me ache, in a good way, to get to witness this.  Tonight, Clara rubbed lotion on Eloise's back and begged to give her one more hug before she went to sleep.  Although I'm not rushing time, I can't wait until Eloise finds words to express what she thinks about her big sister.  

I know it's inevitable that there will be days ahead when you fight with each other and lose your patience with each other and are jealous of each other and frustrated by each other.  And I know that those days won't mean you love each other any less, but today just felt like such a pure and genuine and honest expression of mutual love and adoration.  Right now, in this moment, you both just think that the other is incredible and it's wonderful and beautiful and precious and somehow I want to remember it.  So, thank you.  Thanks for letting me experience this sisterhood beside you.  You two have such beautiful hearts.  And Clara, as much as you think you love Eloise right now, let me assure you:  I love you both even more.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...