December 21, 2010

Pregnant at Christmas

It has been a blessing to be pregnant at Christmas this year.  It has given me a completely new perspective on the Christmas story and allowed me to relate to Mary and Joseph in a different way than ever before.  I’m sure that anytime someone becomes a parent, they understand better the love and sacrifices that Mary and Joseph had for sweet little Jesus, but it has been especially powerful for me to be participating so personally in God’s creation during a time when our thoughts and reflections turn to the story of the birth of Jesus. 

I am glad I’m not riding on a donkey to Bethlehem.  I am glad I do not have to give birth in a stable.  I am glad that I have the support and love of my community and that I am not risking losing my status, my husband, or my future because of a pregnancy out of wedlock.  I am glad that although I feel that I am carrying a burden right now, that I do not carry the burden of bringing our world’s Savior into the world.  How did Mary do it?  She was truly a remarkable woman of God.  My only guess is that she trusted God fully and completely to care for her and provide for her.  I hope that this Christmas season I will learn that lesson from her and give over Clara as willingly as Mary gave over Jesus.  It sounds simple, but I know how difficult it is to truly let go of anything – especially something that you feel so close to, so protective of, and so responsible for.  Kudos to you, Mary.

I also have been wondering what in the world God was thinking when he decided that the best way to save our world was to bring his son onto this earth as a baby.  The past few months have shown me how unbelievable fragile a newborn’s life is.  Even with the medical advances of 2010, there are babies every day who do not survive or who are born with debilitating illness or injury.  All of the things that have to happen just right in utero for a baby to enter this world healthy are (forgive the cliché) nothing short of miraculous.  Not that God isn’t capable of doing such - we are certainly trusting in that more now than ever – but that he would trust us to care for his own son in the form of such a fragile creature is really remarkable and humbling.  So many things could have gone wrong for Mary as she traveled to Bethlehem and delivered in a stable.  So many things could have gone wrong for Jesus as he was wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger.  It is just amazing to me that God trusted and believed in us enough to not only give us such an amazing gift, but to give it to us in such a delicate form.  So, thank you Lord.  We know that although Clara is our daughter, she is first and foremost Your child.    We will do our best to care well for Clara and trust in You the way that You trusted Mary and Joseph with Your son.  I am grateful for these reminders at Christmastime. 

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Our next appointments with our regular OB and the OB specialists at Forsyth Hospital are tomorrow (8:15, 2:45).  We’ll have another ultrasound, see how well Baby Clara is growing, and check on the status of her diaphragmatic hernia as well as her other internal organs.  As always, we are grateful for your prayers.  We expect no more new news, but remain hopeful for another relatively good report that will encourage us and sustain us for the next few weeks.  I’ll do my best to post a quick update tomorrow. 

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